first attempt

The day that probably I will record as the most unproductive day of my life (as if I am usually productive). But I think today I have been unproductive in the most unproductive way… what a depressing phrase. First of all I have been doing nothing the whole day … physically, but worse than that my mind has also been blank, empty, condition that I would imagine when a drug addict person is on high.

Usually I feel unproductive when I associate myself with a duty that I am suppose to handle or something, well today I am unproductive in term of my you-know-what (this time with the initial T), but the depressing thing is that I also did not do anything else, as the food to eat is all readily available (thanks to the very productive Tisha, my beloved super productive neighbor, I hate her!), my laundry has been done the day before and plus I have not changed many clothes these couple of days… pathetic!, no preparation needed for tomorrow NTA class, so what could I do to avoid the feeling of unproductiveness then… gosh!! I played guitar a bit but I can tell you there were no mood, no feelings and no improvement in the skill sense so I dropped it. Then I went to read a bit Tax (Taxing Ourselves by Joel Slemrod that Jo Ann cited as a light reading, she even mentioned it’s probably as light as Confession of A Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella)… on bed. And there you go, I fell asleep during time that they say is not a good time to sleep (before dusk, red). So when I woke up I felt worse, and this time I don’t know how to explain the feeling, only that it’s depressing hehehe…

Or this depressing feelings has something to do with the movie we just watched the night before, Leaving Las Vegas? Mei and Jo said they hated the movie because it’s so depressing, and I said I liked it and I was so defensive like I were the part of the production team or something. But it is true isn’t it, I mean you can’t say a movie is bad just because it doesn’t make you feel good, in short I was being objective, the movie was successfully carrying the message, a life as a drunk is so pathetic that it is understandable why being drunk is considered as a misdemeanor. But then now probably it affects me, probably I should have not defended that movie after all…. hehe… ridiculous.

It was actually the last movie we saw (we have a movie marathon party, all girls but instead of renting chick flick movies, like girls usually do, we chose all award-winning movies… try to be more intelligent ha..), the other ones were kind of feel good movies but at the same time not really light too (very good choice!). Monsoon Wedding by Mira Nair and Sliding Doors from who, I didn’t remember the director, but Gwyneth Paltrow was really adorable, either with the long hair in which life she was so miserable but she lived through the end or the extremely short hair in which life she was more fortunate but she died in the end. The good ending comes when in the miserable life she chooses to leave the a**hole and finally met the nice guy whom she would have met earlier in the other life.

In the end actually they were all good choices, although I would say it would be better if we chose another sequence. Now I feel absurd for blaming my depressing-unproductive day on a such innocent award winning film like Leaving Las Vegas. Gosh… but now I don’t know what to blame on at all… BTW this is my first piece of trash, hope next time better.