intersections

ni oku en (200 million yen), thats the most expensive MAP (mutual agreement procedure) case handled by tax accountant worths. in average one case worths 30 million yen. tax accountant is one of the most wanted career here. i knew a japanese guy who gave up his old career and start taking tax accounting lecture in his late twenties, but that time i didn't know that he was just being rational ...

department of psycology in university, my (male) friend said, is one of the best place to find a good candidate for future wife. it may sound silly, but it may be true. a psychologist can be unattached to a fixed job, thus makes her more flexible, as in adjusting to husband's requests. sounds like a mere male-chauvinist's argument, but there might be a small grain of truth in it ...

lawyer is one of the most-earning job in my country nowadays. plus, as seen in a lot of lawyer-as-hero themes in american movies (look at allymacbeal, or even the accidental hero erinbrokovich), it seems like the money is just a good side payment for them ...

at least those three paths were once crossed my "only-smooth-sailing-life" path i've been having. every now and then small doubts come, but summing all up I think I cannot be happier than now. it's just good to realize that GOD gave me those incredible offers, THANK YOU ...

ps. parts of the summing-all-up process can be traced throughout this blog as my poor attempt of summing-all-up. GOD... looks like I got too absorbed by Dan Brown's Digital Fortress that I just created a rotating cleartext sentence ... ;p

y---

Apple and Orange

Love, love, love again... sorry to Jo-Ann, now I think I've been posting too much about love ;)

Exactly like a quotation I found from Bartleby dot com (thanks to Izumi): A spring of love gushed from my heart, and I blessed them unaware (Samuel Talylor Coleridge). A forbidden love, the apple... how do you go about that?

First, like any other love, it makes you feel good. But you always have something in the back of your mind. The end is coming imminently and the pain will be for sure. Or probably that's what makes it so fun. The excitement of breaking the rules, racing with time before it really ends.

I've always thought I'm tough, a bit emotional yes, but always decide using the brain eventually. But now, the pull from the emotions seems just as strong as my brain processor, or even stronger I don't know.

At first place, I'm a patheticly indecisive person. It's hard already for me to buy apple or orange (literally saying, because I love all fruits ;p) in the supa, let alone choosing a delicious apple (which I actually don't favor more than orange in reality but you know what I mean) over a sour orange.

At some point I blame him for making me go through this trouble, but one of my friend (who is actually reiterating what my brain has been telling me) says that I created this problem myself. I let this happen. It's all up to me, I'm the king (queen doesn't sound almighty enough;p) of my destiny.

I know what my brain has decided, but my heart seems to go the other way still. So, which way to go then, the weight of the pain and pleasure are not that clear yet.

A Happy Snowing Ending

Five days in Wako campus, an NTC intensive course on International Tax Treaty Negotiation. Quite interesting lectures was given by Prof Komamiya of Niigata University. My joining the NTA practicum on taxation was not much of a fun this 2 semesters passed. The decision for me to join was solely Prof. Asanuma’s discretionary authority. One of the reasons I suspect is that we have no other more suitable candidate that year, so there was I, a scapegoat. But of course I was honored too, I mean I am not a tax officer, never deal any tax matters before, and zero background about this thing that will come in certain other than death (Adam Smith’s quoted).

While seeing other participants were almost all too knowledgeable for me to compete, I would also have to spend a lot, as the venue of the classes would change every now and then and many times we would have visit in far away places. And for me, by my own expense, while other students as they all sponsored by World Bank, which is the reason why this course was held at first place. Plus, the class (may be just for me, because I don’t have enough background to begin with) was sooo boring…zzzzz… All the effort during the semesters had to be completed by a research paper, which I was expected to be just a wishy-washy, but turned out to be quite serious (as my advisor ‘advised’ me that with my topic I would never meet the committee’s expectation of a good research paper, well… can’t help it). But I was (and probably still, a little miracle will be nice…) hoping for a nice reward after all of this trouble, after all this will give me 4 extra credit, so grade does matter.

And then comes this nice break. While I would have had a long relaxing spring break by this time of the year, now I have to put effort in listening to this treaty, which I would may never have the chance to apply it in the real life (doesn’t mean those treaty negotiators do apply these theories and rationales while making the deals, I wouldn’t know what they actually do while making the deals). But then the lectures were quite interesting. The lecturer’s factor I guess play important part. I wouldn’t be able to imagine had not it’s him who delivers the subject.

And then while staying a week in this asylum (what would you call the place where no internet within more than 100 meters available in Japan?) at night we were craving for entertainment. So 3 nights in a row we went to karaoke, ended by a get-together karaoke party with senseis. Some people do change characters while holding mic (Shimizu, 2005), but it was fun. Today, we’re checking out, and there it was white cotton (snow as called by Nyai) were dancing in the air (why it’ always so spirit-lifting while seeing great beautiful nature phenomenon…?)

Sad moment: when Mega had to leave and went back to Indonesia because of inconvenient news she just received. A hunch she must have been having, after harsh criticism on the unavailability of the internet, finally she managed to open her mails through keitai, and there was it the worrisome news. I hope everything will be fine for her.

High Heels

I don't know since when I started feeling uncomfortable wearing high heels. For my height I used to be insecure without ones. Especially back there in my country when people do not need to walk as much as here in Japan, I never wear sneakers. Last year I remember I still wear boots often even for going to school just for regular classes. But now, especially today I just come to think of how much I hate high heels.

I hate high heels because I feel pretty uncomfortable with one, but comfortably unpretty without one (I don't know which one to choose!). BTW, I wonder how men think about women wearing high heels.... Lots of woman clothes are designed compatible for high heels, for example, mini skirts will look 'killing' with a sling-back or a stilletto. But wearing them, will kill your back when you have to walk half kilometer just to change the line in the subway.

Anyway, last Monday was a bad day for me, but it was worse because I was wearing boots with 5cm heels. First kilometer in the morning I was still okay, although I was thinking already it must have been a beautiful freshy morning, had I just wear my sneakers instead. I was planning to go directly home after half day lecture at the National Tax Agency (that's why I had to wear formal that day, gosh I cannot imagine going to work everyday with formal dress and shoes anymore now!). But, it turned out that I have to walk a lot after the class, picking up books, looking out several places for lunch and look around for ATM coz I just ran out of cash after my stringent lunch. Poor me I already imagined a dessert just to release myself from the boots torture.

A long awaited call did cheer me up a bit during lunch. But it was only after I got home that I really enjoyed being freed from the high-heel-syndrome. Suddenly the day was felt much better, the books were a big help, and the call was felt as the most relaxing casual conversation as I rewind my thought for that day.

Heels however is a must worn formal fashion items for women, at least it will still be for the next two decade I guess (God, I hate the person who invent this fashion!). So, I better prepare myself, for my formal office work will start soon. But somehow I'm still thinking maybe we can invent something else, how to look good without high heels...hmmm

Winter

Getting Started...oh Not Yet:(

Less sleep, hard thinking and a little party with good food and nice friends exhausted me the day before. Today, waking up at 9.30, with a pile of assignments to be done still couldn't make me get started. So here I am, writing HERE (instead of my term papers or my you-know-what-with-the-first-letterT) again... gosh!

Maybe I will busy myself with my domestic chores instead, that's I guess what most of us do when we don't know what to do but we don't want to relax also. But why wouldn't someone want to relax? I guess relax is a state of mind, not a physical activity. So eventhough you're not doing anything it doesn't mean you are relaxing. But when you're in the middle of something busy, can your mind relax? My GOD...this is nonsense, you deserve doing other things than reading this.

The Anti-Love

The title doesn't mean I'm now against love, I will never be. I just suddenly think about the other side of being in love, being detached from love. Now, I believe everybody has the experience of this, you, me, my best friends... Well hello (tisha's tone, red), even Brad Pitt is breaking up with Jennifer Aniston, isn't he? or are they getting back together? anyway...

Although usually even before the judgement day (being too exaggerating!) we've been seeing the signs, and probably enduring the pain or the uncomfortable feelings, yet when it finally happens it may still strike you as a samourai (again, too dramatic...;p) . The first 5 hours, or 5 days... or 5 something.. is like the digestion stage. We try to absorb the fact, pick up the pieces that might left unnoticed, which just may explain why it is happening. We think and think as if we do it hard enough we may find the true answer, or the solution, or the way out, or anything...

And then probably some people go through the denial stage. If you were the one who made the decision, you may seek excuses that you didn't mean to hurt anybody, you were just being honest or you may also say he/she deserves better than you. And if you were the one who is affected you may say you were not even sure anyway or that he/she was not worth it, or you would find better one and such and such...

But eventually, I would say we grow stronger from those experiences. Just like Tisha said, in the end you would only remember the good things. That you were once in love, enjoy your life, and even when you see those sad moments it seems beautiful from a different angle. Then you realize that life is so rich and fascinating because it has the colors of all the subtle changes in your feelings, the happiness and also the sadness.

--yr--

Love and Jacket

When I first wrote my posting here, my friend Jo-Ann protested that there were no element of love there in my first writing, considering I have love beside life and rhythm in the title. But you see, I can't write about love, especially my love life, properly... probably not until I settle it down properly hhehe, because my feeling for love is always so romantic and poetic (some people will laugh ;))), but my writing style can never be such.

Yesterday I was walking to school, and the cold winter wind was striking my cheek, leaving it a natural pink (this is what I like about winter, I never have to put any blush-on ;) ). I was wearing my really warm jacket I bought just this winter, and there was I, thinking of writing here about my jacket and love. You see, I lost my favorite jacket last year just in the end of the winter. When I lost it I didn't feel that bad because I thought I can find better or at least a similar one and I was almost bored with it anyway. But when the winter was coming this year I was desperately looking for a jacket out of the fear of not having a proper comfort to protect me from the coldness, but i realized then it was not easy. The thing is actually I have so many jacket already, but none of them I really like as the one I lost. Probably you find it strange (especially for man, you may not understand) that I have such a strong feeling for a piece of cloth. Some people regard clothes just as their function, keeping you warm or cover your supposedly unseen body, but some other people (me included) consider clothes as fashion (or self) statement. Okay, anyway several times I ended up buying jackets that I thought I like (after weighing the price and my fondness toward it) but it turned out I got bored just as soon as I wore it once. And then, one time I found this one, a white thick jacket, with fur, nice material and good cut. First time I saw it I liked it already. Although the price was not cheap compared to other jackets I bought out of desperation, I was thinking that it was really pretty and looked good on me. So there I was thinking of buying or not, because this will be my last winter and I have spent quite amount on the other less charming jackets, but in the end of course I bought it.

First time I wore it, it was gratifying. It has pockets where I can put my palms in, so I don't need to buy thicker gloves, as my favorite gloves are not so sufficiently warm, they are more for fashion hehe... It also indeed looked good, so without looking at my face I look like one of those rich japanese shopping savvies (= who know how and are able to shop). Since then I have never thought of wearing my other jackets anymore (poor them, hanged idly in my dark closet). The secret is that this new jacket has the color that goes right with any color of my clothes, and also the style.

So there when I was walking to my school and thinking may be this is the feeling when you finally meet somebody right. Has everything you need (as the pockets in the jacket for me), goes right with everything you have (the color and style) , and make you (or at least think that you) look good. What a relieving feeling... ;))

--yr--