Apple and Orange

Love, love, love again... sorry to Jo-Ann, now I think I've been posting too much about love ;)

Exactly like a quotation I found from Bartleby dot com (thanks to Izumi): A spring of love gushed from my heart, and I blessed them unaware (Samuel Talylor Coleridge). A forbidden love, the apple... how do you go about that?

First, like any other love, it makes you feel good. But you always have something in the back of your mind. The end is coming imminently and the pain will be for sure. Or probably that's what makes it so fun. The excitement of breaking the rules, racing with time before it really ends.

I've always thought I'm tough, a bit emotional yes, but always decide using the brain eventually. But now, the pull from the emotions seems just as strong as my brain processor, or even stronger I don't know.

At first place, I'm a patheticly indecisive person. It's hard already for me to buy apple or orange (literally saying, because I love all fruits ;p) in the supa, let alone choosing a delicious apple (which I actually don't favor more than orange in reality but you know what I mean) over a sour orange.

At some point I blame him for making me go through this trouble, but one of my friend (who is actually reiterating what my brain has been telling me) says that I created this problem myself. I let this happen. It's all up to me, I'm the king (queen doesn't sound almighty enough;p) of my destiny.

I know what my brain has decided, but my heart seems to go the other way still. So, which way to go then, the weight of the pain and pleasure are not that clear yet.