Intuitive Intelligence

This post remained as draft for more than 2 years hahaha ... and I thought it's too cool to be left as draft :p

Am I developing it or what? I was going to write on it a week ago or so, now I was just thinking "it would be nice to have rain now that I am home" and it suddenly did.
Several days ago I had successive splashes of intuition or whatever more appropriate word that I may not know of. First it was about how either my mind can work during off duty, or my body accept pre-order, whichever is just amazing. I usually wake up by alarm in my iPhone set up in appropriate time for morning prayer. That morning I did too, but I saw that my laptop was still on, with the window showing that the automatic prayer call just finished its call. I was thinking how could I not hear the call (from the laptop), and woke up by the alarm only? So I did a little experiment. The next night I set my mind to be awaken by whichever will sound first, and so I was awaken by the prayer call. I was thinking that was amazing.
Second time, I was riding my old, rusty bike, which will make a very noisy sound if the lamp is put on. It was after my yoga session, so it was dark (10 pm-ish), but I didn't turn on the lamp, just brought a very small flashlight, which turned out didn't quite helpful. I forgot what's the trigger but I was thinking seriously (for the first time) to buy a bike lamp. I was thinking I've been not a very good citizen, given all the blessing I got for being here, for example not having my bike registered and all, not even have a proper bike lamp. And then for the first time in my life here in Japan, I was stopped by policemen that night. So I was really pleading guilty. I guess regret was clearly shown in my face, that they let me go, just like that. Two amazing things I could not avoid thinking. First, it's the splash of thought about the bike lamp before I got caught. Honestly, I have not thought about it nor had any guilty feeling before that bike ride night. Second, it's how it looked like the policemen could read my mind or something, that I had just made up my mind I would buy the lamp, that they let me go. Honestly, I wasn't able to display my best Nihongo that night, so it was totally a mind reading I'm telling you.
I know it might sound silly to some people. I don't know why I am so intrigued by this. And why sometimes when I really need it (there are more important matters than bike lamp, hello) my intuition just stop telling :D

My 2014 Self

Dear readers (if any),

What a long-long way since the last time I wrote here. Today, out of no clear reason, suddenly I opened this long-abandoned site, and found myself utterly amused and entertained reading my own ramblings. After all, I finally realize that my writing can have some good impact, at least for myself.

This feeling has brought me some urges to write again. Perhaps, just a tiny-tiny kind of perhaps, I could reignite that will again, the will to write, to tell stories.

That long-long way has brought me here and now, a quite distant reality compared to the ones I had recorded here in this site. My own impression from reading my past life through these posts, is that I had fun life, sociable personality, romantic view on life, and love :p, and innocence. Although from several posts I can also feel some darker days, I can almost picture field of daisies as this site's background. Looking at myself now, I don't think I can claim to have most of those traits anymore. For a couple of years I have come to enjoy a more quiet and solitary life. I dread social and (still) family gatherings, I prefer individual than team work, and I hate bureaucratic (or corporate) meetings more than before, and I don't enjoy too many friendly companies, but I do now treasure more than before: twosome companionship with significant other or a handful of friends that I can enjoy being quiet with.

Was I a closeted introvert? or now an extrovert convert? I don't know, and probably should not care. What I know now, is that people can really change. And if for some reason my reality will again change and life unfolds a new chapter for me, I will be glad if I have some records of my old self, and who knows that like today, I will again thank myself for the entertaining stories.

With that in mind, I had validated the reason for blogging. It was for myself first and foremost.

Higher Equilibrium

I think I can start to question about the principle: “do what you want others do onto you” (or something like that, I forgot the exact aphorism, I am as I say repeatedly very bad with remembering details). What I am saying is, if that’s one way to reach an equilibrium (of a balanced relationship amongst human being), well could there be a higher equilibrium that we can aim? I think there is. And by saying higher I mean: with a more reliable characteristic, more sustainable, truer. I should say I’d rather go with: “do what your heart tells you to do”, no matter what, as long as it rings true to your heart. If everybody search the voice (which dictates our act) in the inside, I tend to believe that we all, in the end will reach a higher equilibrium, the more authentic one. Even if that’s a long way to go, I even don’t know if it’s possible to achieve, as there seems no limit to anything, but at least we are moving higher. Whereas, the first principle, although seems like more possible (easier) to achieve, it stagnates. Not to mention that I think it is almost impossible to work perfectly either.

In other words, the first principle cannot bring us to equilibrium (even in the short term) as well. There seems to be always somebody, due to some reasons, who will violate this principle, maybe intentionally, maybe unintentionally, it does not matter. The latter point of view on the other hand, is always perfect, at least from the point of view of the one(s) who stay(s) true to their heart. With this point of view, even when somebody else (by general standard) harms us, when we accept it as their true being, nothing should be regretted, or considered as mistake, because it’s all dynamic (perhaps eternal) process, for all of us to go to higher level.

It depends on our point of view, really, whether to look at things in shorter or longer term, and if longer, how much longer. When you look at things in timeless (or should I say, time-irrelevant) point of view, what we do really makes no different. It only makes different to us whether we acts true or not, in other words, whether it brings us to (closer to) peace or not. I don’t know if it makes sense or not, perhaps I will laugh at it later (perhaps due to my language barrier), just feel like wanting to share. :)